It’s very odd…the way that things often unfold. A couple of months ago I was happily studying Spanish and then I started tutoring 2 Japanese ESL students and I was reminded of how much I used to like Japanese when I studied it in college. Well, to be accurate, it isn’t that I necessarily FORGOT that I had loved Japanese, it’s just that I told myself that pursuing Japanese was impractical. That I would have many many more opportunities to speak Spanish. And this is, of course, true. But I’ve decided it doesn’t matter. Japanese is where my heart is.

Unlike Spanish, which I studied for maybe an hour or two (at most) a day, I study Japanese all the time. I’ve decided to devote almost all of my free hours to it. (And since I still don’t have a job, I have a lot of free hours!) I want to do this for a year and see how far I can get in the language. I’ve been at it for probably 6 weeks or so now. How much Japanese will I know by September 2010? I can’t wait to find out.

In addition to the time spent actually studying the language, I’ve spent a considerable number of hours researching the best/fastest way to acquire a second language. Based on my research, I’ve developed a learning plan for myself, which I’m still tweaking. This is what I’m currently doing:

• I occasionally watch Japanese dramas or comedies online with English subtitles.

• I broke down and bought Rosetta Stone. So far, Level One is mostly stuff I already know but I do like the program. I feel like I’m retaining what I’m learning.

• I try to find interactive online Japanese language teaching games for beginners. There are a few out there. 

• I subscribe to JapanesePod101. This is a site designed to help people learn Japanese. They have a 15-minute dialogue and they break down the vocabulary and even explain some of the Kanji. I really like it. I will listen to an episode multiple times. I basically listen to it over and over again (over a period of weeks) until I know the material.

• I use Anki (electronic flashcards). Anki is a free program that you can set up to learn just about anything, but it’s especially good for learning Japanese. It’s based on SRS (spaced repetition system). The idea behind that is that there’s no need to waste time reviewing things you already know. The software automatically calculates when it’s time for you to review a particular flashcard. With optimal spacing between reviews, you have a better chance of successfully moving what you are learning to your long-term memory. It takes a lot of time to set up your cards, though. I create my own cards instead of downloading cards someone else has created. I also have some paper flashcards that Jan got me that are pretty neat.

• I study sentence patterns. I’ve bought a couple of dictionaries and a few book that cover grammar, but my favorite is The Dictionary of Japanese Sentence Patterns. Instead of saying things all screwy and wrong, I figure it’s best to learn a proper sentence pattern and then plug different vocabulary words into it for variety.

• I read Manga. I’m still trying to find exactly what I like. I need something easy, and so far the ones I’ve liked are over my head. Figures. I also practice reading online on sites that convert the Kanji into kana and also translate to English. Otherwise, at this point I would have NO idea.

• I’m attempting to learn Kanji using the Heisig method. If you have any interest whatsoever in linguistics, you should read the introduction to Heisig’s book REMEMBERING THE KANJI. It’s beautifully written and so damned inspiring. By the time you’re finished with his introduction, reading Kanji somehow seems possible. This is most difficult part of Japanese for me so far.

• My Japanese ESL student and I split our time between English and Japanese. She answers my culture questions and grammar questions and helps me with pronunciation as well. I can’t wait until I can converse with her in Japanese. Each week I write out some practice sentences in Kanji and kana and she checks my work for mistakes. I find that I don’t like to say much because I don’t want to make mistakes. Hopefully, in time I’ll get more comfortable with speaking in front of her. Practicing a foreign language with a native speaker has made me more aware of how my ESL students must feel.

So this is my latest magnificent obsession. Tanoshinde imasu!

I don't subscribe to all that many blogs. I just counted them, in fact, and I have about 20 subscriptions in my Google reader. Of those 20 blogs, only 5 are personal. See, I wish that every person I cared about kept a blog, but they don't. I have a friend who has a baby blog with pictures and captions. A writer friend who writes long-winded posts, but hasn't posted since March. Another writer friend who hasn't posted since April (you know who you are!). Another friend who used to post, maybe, 3 x a year, but has removed her blog altogether. A friend of my mom's who writes about her craft with tidbits about her life thrown in now and then. But most people I know only post a sentence or two on FB, and, sadly, no one that I know personally keeps an ongoing blog like mine--an introspective journal.

I have been following a personal blog that is similar to mine for about three years now. It is written by a girl I have never met. And yet, I feel that I know her. If I happened to run into her at a local Starbucks, I would recognize her instantly, especially if she had her two kids in tow (whose names and personalities I know well). I don't know why I follow this person's blog. In many ways she is different from me. She is 10 years or so younger, for one thing, and heterosexual for another. And I think she even goes to church. Gasp. Well, sometimes. But still. She curses, which I like. And she can be cranky, which I love. And today I read her blog and was very moved by what she wrote. Like I said, I have never met her, and I don't ever WANT to meet her. I just like following her life via her blog. It's kind of like watching a TV show or reading a novel, it's just that the characters are real people.

When I first started to read her blog she seemed to have no major problems. She had a nice husband, two healthy kids, a home business (she's a web designer) that allowed her to spend time with her kids and earn a litle extra money. Life seemed good for her and hers. Though, not perfect. She's battled depression since an early age. And then a couple of years ago, she was diagnosed with RSD, which I have to admit I don't really understand. Anyway, then it was just one health thing after another for her. Now she's got some kind of problem with her right eye and she's slowly losing her vision. And yes, she's been seeing specialists. But so far, no one has been able to explain this to her or stop it. I mean, she's like 30 years old. Unbelievable.

Reading her blog today makes me feel grateful for my health. I am still young and I live pain free. Jan and I hiked every day we were in Arizona. Today I woke up with a sore throat, which is very unusual for me. But that's just a minor temporary discomfort or irritant. The point is, my health allows me to do whatever I want to do physically. I need to be more mindful of what a gift that is.

Last night J & I spent the evening with new friends. One of them spent a lot of time talking about how to manifest your destiny. Much of it sounded like psychobabble to me. The example she gave was a time when she and another woman each pulled a pen out of a cup in order to exchange phone numbers. My friend’s pen wrote just fine, but the other woman’s dried up when she was only 3 digits into writing her number down. “Well, that figures, my pen doesn’t work,” the woman reportedly remarked. My friend’s analysis of the situation was that her pen wrote just fine because she didn’t expect anything to go wrong. In other words,  when you expect something to go wrong, it will. When you expect something to go right, it will. At least, that’s what I took away from her story.

But here’s what I think: Drawing a pen that doesn’t write is random. BUT—it is a complete waste of energy to see yourself as a victim because your pen doesn’t write. Or because you got stuck in the slow-moving line at the bank, or because some idiot side-swiped your brand new car. Random. All of it. You are neither a victim nor a hero because these types of things do or don’t happen to you.

But back to manifesting your destiny. I do believe in it to an extent. The first step, I think, is to identify what it is you want. Many people never do this. This is one of the main reasons that people lead such unfulfilling lives. They never take the time to figure out what it is that brings them joy.

The next step is to imagine your vision coming true and to speak of it aloud as if it were already true. Then you have to do something to make it happen. Action. This is where I think common sense comes into play. You are more likely to DO something—to take some positive action—when you have positive thoughts. For example, I am currently studying Japanese. I’m trying to learn how to read Kanji. This is a big commitment and it’s something I will have to stick with for a long time if I ever want to be able to read a Japanese book or magazine article. Months, maybe even years. It would be easy here at the beginning to throw in the towel and to tell myself that it isn’t possible. That there’s no way I’ll ever be able to learn 2,000 characters, which is how many I will need to learn to be able to read a Japanese newspaper. I could tell myself that there’s no way I’ll be able to do it, that I may as well give up. OR, I can believe that someday I will read Japanese. I could visualize myself doing it. If I keep my thoughts positive and tell myself that it’s not that big of a deal. If I expect to be successful at reading Japanese, then I’m more likely to study my Kanji regularly. If I study regularly—say, learn 20 characters a week, which is completely doable—then in a couple of years, I’ll be able to read Japanese. I’m just saying. There’s really nothing all that mystical about manifesting your destiny. Even so, I don’t think most people do it.

I came home and downloaded a sample chapter from a book called Remembering the Kanji: A Complete Course in How Not to Forget the Meaning and Writing of Japanese Characters. It’s fascinating and I wish I had time to study it.

But I don’t. So I need to dump that file into the trash so it’s not just sitting there on my hard drive tempting me. I’m guessing my newfound interest in kanji stems in part from my meeting with a prospective ESL student tonight. She is Japanese. I liked her very much and am excited about being her tutor (and the fact that she lives just down the road is convenient too). She found me on CL, btw. So hooray!

Speaking of ESL, I’m officially a certified ESL instructor now. Here I am looking dorky in my mortarboard!

And the third person was female and I don't know what in the world her motive was. Probably financial scam as well. The point is, these people are clearly not who they claim to be. It's a bit disturbing.

And yes, I'm being careful. It's so tempting to reply to these idiots with something like "What, do you think I am STUPID?" But the fact is, you never want to say "game on" to a sociopath. Because they just might outsmart you. And that could end very badly. 

All I'm trying to do is find people who need help learning you know what. And I'll I've gotten so far are freaks. Sigh.

I walked into Turnip Truck today and said the following aloud to myself:

Bouncing on the water on a toilet paper seahorse, I slipped on the mushy cheese as I reached out to stroke the cow. Ya-moooo!

That, my friends, is my shopping list.
1. Bounce fabric sheets (actually, we now buy a natural version but we still call it all Bounce, kinda like Kleenex)
2. Water
3. Toilet Paper
4. Ricotta Cheese
5. Ground Beef

Did I have a list? Nope. Did I forget anything? Negative. 

See. All I need is a wacky shopping list story! HA!

Today was Dog Day. The dogs couldn't believe their luck. One fun activity after another! First, we all went to Starbucks for our coffee. Then when we got home: bike ride! I wish I'd taken a picture of Jan riding her bike with Zoe running alongside her on a lead! We've never done that with the dogs before but Zoe just intuitively knew what to do: run! Since there's no traffic on our little side street where we are staying we were able to do it safely. Long enough to wear them out, at least. Then we all piled into the car and headed to the Smiling Fish cafe for lunch.

Shannon has thanked us several times for bringing her. Zoe's all sacked out here next to me. Zoe doesn't thank us in the same way, but I know she's also happy to be here.

J & I just finished a French card game that I'd never played before: Mille Bornes. Jan used to play it with her mom, but hadn't played in years until tonight. Jan won both hands. Surprise!

We leave in the morning. What a great vacation!